remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
