I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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