I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize