I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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