My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
