So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
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