Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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