You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
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How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
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i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize