obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
