I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
