I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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