She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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