woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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