He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
