she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
