if you like me you must not know who I am
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
