Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
