he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My dick has a subreddit
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
