I think I am morally bankrupt
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
