Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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