you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
