we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
