I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
