Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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