i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
