Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
