So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
