That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
