We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
