you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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