Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize