Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
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I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
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What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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