Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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