he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
