Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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