there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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