hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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