He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
