I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
