Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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