that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
