we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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