Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Someone signed my nipple.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
