How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
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dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize