I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
