somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
