I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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