Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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