His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
