I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Blow job season was short but glorious.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
