i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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