i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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