I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My room smells like vodka and shame
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
