Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
